It’s strange how much I used to loathe the dark. As a child, I really thought there were monsters hiding that only became visible once that lightswitch turned off. As a teenager, the hours I laid in bed alone thinking about how one day I’ll have this, one day I’ll have that were torment. Teasing my young mind with dreams of grandeur that were always one step ahead of me.
Then, in my young adult life I was taught to fear the dark, but as a rebel youth, I embraced it. I danced in the streets with nothing but the moon to protect me. I slipped in and out of drunken stupors singing with strangers and meeting some of the greatest individuals. I did drugs and I was drugged, I flirted and I was harassed, I waged a war with the night.
Then you came along.
In the beginning, in the darkness, we shared our firsts. First adventure, first drunken night, first kiss. In the dark, on my roof, a bottle of 10 dollar whiskey between my thighs, you looked me in the eyes and told me you were falling in love with me.
In the dark, you told me that it was forever. In the dark you asked me to be your wife.
At night, when we lay next to each other, drifting in and out sleep, I’ve told you my insecurities. We have talked about pain and we have experienced the greatest happiness.
The truth is, you are my dark. You are the moon, constantly changing, but still constant. You are the uncertainty and you are my reckless faith. You consume my dreams and build my dreams. You are my abandon and my responsibility. You are my refuge and you are my home. You are safety and you are fear.
Never have I wanted to accept defeat to the night, but the war is over. The battle has been won. I know it is hard. The night is cold, the night is terrifying, people hide in the dark, waiting to trap. You are the stars, watching me.
I understand the night now, better than I understand the day. The day holds normalcy, and little more. Sunlight can be warm and it can be harsh. We may both adore the sunlight, but we can’t embrace the sun.
We carry the moon like two children who can be reborn, and each night we are.